32. the magnificent squirrels
as hugh and quincy stood on the doorstep doug was still in the outskirts of matthewland. just before he had his horrible encounter with that mean old truck he had ejected himself out of the duckmobile and landed deep in a nearby forest (it was quite windy that day you see) where he was befriended by a family of mutant squirrels. the shock off all these events had driven him slightly insane so he had to be nursed back to heaLth. living in the treetops doug eventually found a new lease of life. he swung between the branches and completely forgot all of the adventures he still had to have with geoffrey and hugh and that matthew still had to be defeated. one day he accidentally swung too far from the mutant squirrels nest and he could not find his way back. doug was now alone. this was truly a sobering thought and doug sat down on a branch and thought about his life. he began to remember what he was meant to be doing. he decided he had to get out of this forest so he headed in a stright line in the direction which he thought that he last saw the duckmobile. after about 2 hours doug emerged from the forest in exactly thespot he was looking for. "well there's a stroke of luck" remarked doug. he observed amongst the wrecked truck that the duckmobile ad rebuilt itself just as he had programmed it to do. "ah, good duckmobile, well done" said doug
 "thank you master doug, anything for you sir." replied the duckmobile. doug opened the duckmobile driver side door just as another car pulled up on the other side of the road. doug leaned on the roof of the duckmobile and looked on with some curiosity at the person who stepped out of the car. quincy got out and walked over, looking with amazement at the reformed duckmobile.
 "doug?" asked quincy
 "yup" said doug
 "ah good, well that's that solved then, since no one is dead i'll be off then." said quincy and he headed back to his car
 "but what about the driver of the truck?" asked doug
 "hm? oh you mean matthew, he is fine he went back to his castle to eat some food. well, i'll be off then, bye." said quincy and with that he drove off over the horizon into matthewland, laughing maniacally.
 "how odd." remarked doug
 "you are absolutely right, master" added the duckmobile. doug got in to his supercool car and drove towards home. when he arrived geoffrey and hugh were very pleased to see him, so pleased in fact that they decided that they should go and have an adventure immediately, but there was still that annoying question of what had happened to their food.

33. was it the monkey?
with dougs return the three some were getting ready for their next adventure. all was back to normal. then they heard a loud bang out side. "that sounded like a photon torpedo" stated Doug. they looked out side a sure enough photon torpedoes were rain down upon the house. "like our shield were up" said Geoffrey. "who do we know with photon torpedoes and why would they fire on us" said Hugh. "we have bigger problems on your hands" said Doug. an alarm went off. "the shields are failing" said Geoffrey. just then three men beamed into the room. "hold it there" said one of them holding a phaser at them. it was Captain Picard  with Data and some one we did not recognise. "captain, what are you doing" said Geoffrey, "we are part of your crew." "no Geoffrey, you are no longer part of my crew" said Picard. "I have been orbiting this plant for days waiting to hear from you. and in that time I have heard nothing, not a thing. this has gone to far Geoffrey. the line must be drawn here, and I will make you pay for what you have done" said Picard. "what we have done nothing" said Hugh. "exactly, you have done nothing. as the crew orbit this plant with nothing to do they became bored. have you ever been on a starship when it's crew is bored? have you mister bailey?" asked Picard. "no" replied Hugh. "I didn't think so. it is an odd thing. everyone just sat around. play in the holodeck and in ten forward. these things soon become tiresome. the one thing left to do was the fight each other. most of the crew is now dead because you three did nothing! the only way I could stop the fighting was to set the crew a mission. that mission is why I am here. the mission I choose was to destroy you three" stated Picard. "but doesn't that violate the prime directive" asked Doug. "NO, it does not. you see I have rewritten the prime directive a bit. it is now what ever I want it to be" said Picard. clearly the captain had been over come by power. he was no mad and out for revenge. "mister data beam these three the the ship and put them in the holding cells" said Picard. "yes sir" said data. the three were then beamed up to the ship. data then put them in the holding cells. "what is going on. why is the crew of the enterprise being so mean" said Hugh. "there is only one thing that could do this, MATTHEW" stated Doug. "indeed you are right mister Forrest" Picard stepped out from the shadows. "Matthew is be hind this. he found the ship after the fighting broke out. we were easily over ran. I and several other of my crew formed a resistance group but most of the crew joined Matthew" said Picard. "but you are the one that brought us here" said Geoffrey. "no Geoffrey, I did not. the Picard you saw on the plant was Matthew in disguised as me. i can't stop matthew alone, i only have a hand full of men. i need you three to help me retake the enterprise" said picard. picard then lower the force field. "if you choose not to join me you are free to go but matthew will track you down. there is no telling what damage he could rain if he is aloud to keep the enterprise" picard siad. "okay we will jion you sir, but how will we get to matthew, he must have loads of gaurds and stuff. plus he could be any wher eon the ship" asked doug. "no, matthew is over confident. he never has gaurds with him and he is always in the holodeck playing with girls. it will be very easy with all of us to great to him and get back the ship" said pciard. with that they all went to the armery. they got phaser rifels and headed for the holodeck. "okay when i open the door we all ran in and shoot matthew" said picard. "okay" they all responed. then pciard opened the door, they all ran in and shot every where. the room filled with sparks and smoke. they stopped firing and the smoke began to clear. there was nothing there. "damn it, it the wrong holodeck" yelled picard. they all turned to head towards the door and then they saw him. matthew ran passed the door sreaming like a baby. he had seen the four some and what they were doing. they decided to chase matthew. they ran after him tell he got to the transporter room. there he sealed him self in and transported him self back to matthewland.
    some time later the four meet on the bridge. "well sir you have your ship back" said hugh. "yes, i thank you all for your help. the crew has return to my command and all is normal again" said pciard. "what will you do to stop the crew getting bored and fighting again" asked doug. "well, the repairs to the holodeck and the rest of the ship should keep our mind occupied for a few days. after that i think we may go exploring the univerise. and if that fails i will just start up a fight club in wolfs quarters" replied picard. "i am affraid this is were we must part ways. i will not forget you three, and certainly not you geoffrey. if it weren't for you none of us would be here" said picard as he lent down and touched geoffrey on the wing. "well we ever see you again" asked hugh. picard replied "what does your heart tell you". "maybe, i guess" repiled hugh. "then you shall, till then good bye and, get off me bridge" yelled picard. the three some were salfly transported back home. they sat around and woundered about the odd day they had just had. then hugh turned to doug and said "what did happen to our food?"

34. a trip to the hospital for geoffrey the wooden duck
it had been some time since our heroes' last adventure. hugh blamed this on doug and had taken to leaving little sarcastic messages lying around for doug to find. doug did not care. he had been having trouble with thinking of something to do and just told hugh they could do something tomorrow. geoffrey did not involve himself in such japery, doug and hugh had not been paying him much attention and he had become mentally unbalanced. nowadays he would walk around the house and would only speak his name and nothing else. sometimes doug and hugh were awakened in the middle of the night to hear someone walking up and down the hall and muttering "geoffrey geoffrey geoffrey". geoffrey had also taken to sleeping inside a ball and he had begun to develop some new attacks. this all seemed strangely familiar to doug, but he was not sure from where. hugh and doug did not like having a broken geoffrey. doug went to the geoffrey manual that had just appeared strangely, propping up a table leg, soon after he had constructed his friend, to see what he should do. he turned to the page where it explained about geoffrey diseases that could be caught. it would seem that geoffrey was suffering from something called 'onkempo', brought on, not by being neglected by hugh and doug, but by someone else intoducing a substance into the household. this enraged hugh. the only way to cure geoffrey was to go to a fountain thing which was to be found in the middle of a forest in matthewland. doug and hugh set off immediately with geoffrey in his ball. when they reached the forest geoffrey leapt out of his ball and refused to go back in. "geoffrey geoffrey" he protested. "hm, yes" said hugh, the three continued deeper into the woods. there was a rustling sound in the trees at the side of the path and out leapt matthew and a friend.
"oh no, matthew!" yelped doug.
"haha, yes, it is i, or team matthew, as i wish to be called" said matthew.
"toast, toast toast" said his friend.
"geoffrey!" shouted geoffrey and attacked the cat.
"hey, stop that you bad duck" shouted matthew
"never, kill him" shouted hugh "you broke our duck you cunt!"
"no, you broke my cat" responded matthew. realising what was going on doug stopped the fight and pointed out to matthew that someone had got them both. matthew suggested that they team up and go find this fountain. they started off walking down the path and after about maybe 10 metres matthew and his friend scarpered off into the bushes.
 "well that was odd" remarked doug
 "yes, but i am glad he is gone, he is a smelly boy" replied hugh
 "haha, you are right there" said doug. our heroes continued through the forest and had a disappointingly uneventful journey.
eventually they found the fountain and they saw team matthew emerge from the bushes nearby. there was a shadowy figure standing by the fountain. the person stepped out of the shadows and said
"greetings my friends, i've been expecting you"
who was the shadowy figure? why had he lured team matthew and our heroes to this fountain? and what had happened to our heroes food?

35. good teenages take off your clothes
these dark figure looked strangely familiar. the stylish grey hair, that perfect tan, it was Quincy! "yes it is I, Quincy," he said "and I am responsible for you animals conditions."
"but why, you are such a nice man in your show" inquired Hugh.
"that, my dear friend is because people die!!! here no one dies. they always look like their dead and then some one writes in that their body disappears or that they can't die because they are a wooden duck. this makes me, a coroner, useless" explained Quincy.
"but what about the janitor" asked Doug "he died and he has not come back, and it looks like he might stay dead."
"I wouldn't count on it" replied Quincy. "now that you have said that he will no doubt return." "anyway, seeing that my life was useless I became mad, criminally insane. I have become drawn to killing people to give my life purpose. I decided to start with you, the people responsible with starting my madness, but sadly I could not wait and I killed some elf people that used live in this fountain." Quincy then laugh in and evil villain like way.
"sorry to interrupted, but how does your life have purpose if your killing everyone. I mean you know how killed them you. when before you had to find out though about an hours of investigation how did it" asked Matthew.
"question, question" replied Quincy.
"and what does this have to do with what happened to toast and Geoffrey" asked Matthew.
"well that I will answer," said Quincy " I had to draw you hear some how. the way I choose was to feed Geoffrey and toast CRACK."
"How could you?" said Doug.
"very easily. this made them feel like pokemon. then by complete accident you come here and I can now kill you all." Quincy started laughing again.
would Quincy destory them? where they being chased by chickens? and what happened to there food?

36. hugh eats one pancake too many
just as quincy was preparing to destroy them all something odd happened. a swan swept down out of the air and picked up quincy in it's beak, taking him away, maybe to it's nest, maybe to have him work in the mines, we'll probably never know. "well that was unexpected" remarked geoffrey, now cured. toast was also cured and had gone back to saying meow instead of toast. just as our heroes were preparing for the evil team matthew attack matthew ran off into the woods. and that was the end of that.
the next day, all was normal in the household of our heroes. geoffrey and hugh had gone to buy lottery tickets and sour mix. at about 10 am there was a knock on the door. doug went to answer it. it was some guy. "special delivery for a mr. H.A. Bailey" said the guy, who was actually some sort of delivery person. doug signed for it and the man went away. it was quite a big box. doug dragged it into the house and prised it open with a LADEL. from within the crate emerged 2 droids. "beepbeepbleep." said the smaller one. then the second one, taller and gold coloured came out and said in a camp voice
 "greetings, i am trevor, human- cyborg relations and this is a friend of mine, but i forgot his name. he looks like r2-d2 from star trek so i call him that."
 "star wars" corrected doug.
 "don't get pedantic with me, pathetic human." replied trevor. doug and trevor had not got off to a good start. doug was about to smash trevor when geoffrey got home.
 "where's hugh?" asked doug
 "oh, he's off chasing squirrels again. and he said that he saw some ducks heading for the town centre and he wanted to keep an eye on them, make sure they weren't up to any mischief." said geoffrey
 "ok then. did he say when he would be back?" asked doug
 "probably won't be long, the squirrel went up a tree, and you know that hugh is incapable of climbing trees, and the ducks flew away when he approached them"
 "oh, a package for hugh arrived with some droids in it" said doug
 "yeah he ordered them a few weeks ago. don't know what he plans to do with them, best not think about it probably." said geoffrey
 "well obviously" said doug
 "anyway, he'll be back soon." said geoffrey. just then hugh burst through the door, covered in honey and being followed by a mean looking dog which barked when it saw geoffrey. hugh turned and kicked the mean dog which yelped and ran away. hugh did not say anything and he went to get cleaned up.
 later when hugh was back to normal doug told him about his delivery. they went into the room where the package was to find that r2 had gone missing and trevor was hiding.
 "hey, where's the other one?" asked hugh. trevor stepped out of the shadows
 "it wasn't my fault, sir. please don't deactivate me. i told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about his mission." cried trevor
 "you fucking useless bitch" said hugh as he beat trevor violently with a shovel. hugh eventually stopped. "we'll have to go find him then, where could he be?" said hugh
 "he claimed to belong to chicken mcspoon"
 "chicken mcspoon?" asked doug
 "yes, that's right"said trevor "do you know him?"
 "well i don't know any chicken mcspoon, but old ben mcspoon lives out near matthewland" said doug
 "we'd better wait until tomorrow, the risks of running into matthew at this time are too high. i can't be bothered with that boy tonight" said geoffrey
 "yes, you're right." said hugh. the 4 went and got some sleepsleep.
 the next morning they set out in the duck mobile for the home of ben mcspoon. after some time the duckmobile beeped. "i think i see him" said the duckmobile "he's over there"
 "oh yeah, there he is" said geoffrey. they all got out off the duckmobile and grabbed artoo. just then they heard a sickening sound. kind of a pained yell.
 "matthew." said doug. "lets go take a look." they all head off for higher ground. hugh looks through his clever electric binoculars.
 "well, i see a tesco van but, wait... it's matthew alright i can see him now." matthew suddenly leapt from the far away distance and jumped at our heroes and droids.
 "boo!" shouted matthew. trevor was startled and fell over broke. just then there was a big screamy type noise and matthew was startled and he scarpered.
a figure approached. "ben?" asked doug.
"yes, hello doug." said the figure "what are you nice boys doing all the way out here, eh?"
 "my droid," replied hugh "it claims to belong to someone named chicken mcspoon. are they a relative of yours?"
 "chicken mcspoon...... chicken? now there's a name i haven't heard in a long time, a long time." said ben
 "you know him then?" quacked geoffrey
 "well of course i know him, he's me!" said ben "i haven't gone by the name chicken since oh, last wednesday."
 "then the droid does belong to you?" said doug
 "he does indeed, i built him you know." said ben
 "oh yeah, i remember now." said trevor sitting up
 "oh hello trevor." said ben, but trevor had passed out. something was heard scampering about in the background. doug stood up and sniffed the air.
 "hmmm, we should get moving, matthew is easily startled but he'll be back, and more annoying." said doug
 "ok, we can go to my house and i can make us all some jelly." said ben, and with that they went.
when they got to ben's house doug sat down and went about fixing trevor. ben regaled our heroes with tales of his exploits in the spam wars. "i fought alongside a man called khameir sarin. he was a great warrior, and a good friend. but then there was one time where we had to protect the great monkey from the evil forces of matthewland. i was struck down and khameir could not protect the prize. the great monkey was lost and the world was plunged into a darkness. it has got a bit brighter now, but that is just down to the exploits of you boys. you should be proud. that ended the war. our armies were wiped out and i had to go into hiding. khameir tattooed his head and took a job as janitor of matthew's castle." said ben. doug was startled "we know this man. we did not know his name. but i have some bad news..." said doug
 "what might that be?" asked ben
 "i ran him over in the duckmobile about a month back... he died." said doug, upset to have killed a hero.
 "but you can't have." said ben
 "why not?" asked geoffrey
 "because he was here on wednesday." said ben. this shocked our heroes. he "he has been tracking the great monkey, i assure you, he is quite alive..." he added. there was a pause. "not wishing to seem rude, but i'm tired, if you have fixed my droids i think you can leave now. i will be here to help you if you need it at another time, but i am sleepy. i am keeping the droids, i need them more than you do."
 "you don't know what i need them for" said hugh
 "no, but i am sure it is bad." said ben. hugh knew this was true and left it at that. doug finished with trevor and they said goodbye. they knew matthew would have got bored by now and gone so it was safe. they went to the duckmobile and found a note attached. it read
 "hello" it was obviously from matthew. our heroes discarded and went home.
 was the janitor still alive? what was the significance of the great monkey? what had hugh been planning to do with the droids? what had that swan done with quincy? what were the spam wars? and what had happened to their food???

37. return of the quincy
as our heroes drove home they encountered some thing very odd. very odd indeed. they were travelling though the park were the swans usually play football. but there were no swans today. "maybe they forgot their ball" said Geoffrey. "you are a stupid duck, aren't you. the swans always forget their ball, that does not stop them from standing about abusing the one that forgot the ball" replied Hugh. just then a body fell from the sky on to the front of the car. Doug quickly hit the brakes. the body rolled off the front of the car and on to the ground in front of it. the threesome got out to see who it was, and if they were still alive. they turned the body over. it was Quincy again. "don't let the swans get away with it. it's all their fault" said Quincy in a dazed way. "what are you talking about you mad man" Asked Doug? "the swans they have it, they have killed me because I saw it. they have it they have it" Quincy started to go into spasms. "but Quincy they couldn't have killed you, your still alive" asked Hugh. "no" said Doug "his just died." Quincy lay there still and life less. "I liked him" said Hugh. "he tried to kill us you fool" said Geoffrey. "yeah, but everyone has their faults" replied Hugh. "that is not important now boys" said Doug, "what is, is what Quincy saw. it could be this great monkey." "I don't care what it is. if they did this to Quincy we stand no chance against them" replied Hugh.  They all agreed to stay away from the swans until they knew more about what they were against. the swan were obviously more powerful then anyone had suspected. they returned home to find another note. it also read "hello", it was most likely from matthew too. this time though instead of discarding it they decided to read on. the contince of this note was so powerful it could not be repeated. this was obviously not a message from matthew. the letter was far to well written to be by matthew. the letter described the event of the spam wars and the theories of what happened to the great monkey. the full content of the letter could never be written into a story like this but the basics of it were the spam wars was a battle between the natives of matthewland known as nomads and the every one else. the nomads where though to be destroyed in this war. shortly after the war the matthew empire appeared but no one knows where it came from. before the nomads where destroyed the great monkey, which was the prize position of every one else, disappeared. the main theory was that the nomads stole it a gave it hide it some where in matthewland. it appeard this note was the information need for your heroes to find this prize. "but we don't really know what it is" stated Geoffrey. "yeah but we did really know what the golden goose was and it ended up fine" said Doug. "this adventure sucks. lets do some thing else" said hugh. Would they do something else? what did Quincy see? can i write any worse stories? what happened to their food?

38. the bailey strikes back
the three some decided to ignore the great monkey for the time being. they also decided to ignore the food problem. they were going to go on a wonderful unrelated adventure. Geoffrey had been wanting to return to the moon to see his friend jimspam but his lives had been so full recently that he had never got the chance. Doug and Hugh wanted to see jimspam too. Doug wished to see how he was doing on the moon but Hugh just wanted to beat him up. they took this as just one of Hughes jokes and thought nothing of it. but how to get to the moon was the problem at hand. Geoffrey said "there is a NASA rocket going there tomorrow lets get on that. they all agreed and quickly went to Florida. when there they jump the fence around to launch pad and climbed on to the rocket. they spent tthe night on the rocket. they all put on thier best hats so not to look out of place hising on the rocket. then when it was the morning they found suitable places to hang on for launch. geoffrey sat on the nose of the rocket and doug hang on to the fuel tanks. the only place left for hugh to go was the engines. when they where all in place it was time for lift off. the take off was perfect and they where on their way to the moon. it take three days to get to the moon but our heroes had packed some food for the trip so it was all okay.they had finally got to the moon. now they had to find jimspam. geoffrey called out for the little beast. finally after half an hour geoffrey remembered where jimspams house was. when they aventually got there they called again for jimspam. the small monster appeared for the door. "geoffrey, you have returned, i have missed you" said jimspam. before geoffrey could respond, hugh's intentions for coming came very clear. he pulled out a big hammer and started to charge at jimspam yelling "you imposeder, i will kill you." jimspam though a rock at hugh that hit him in the face. hugh droped the hammer and started to drift into space. hugh was now unconuse drift to the sun. what ever would happen? what was hugh doing? what about their food?

39. bailey's noble end
hugh drifted ever closer to the sun and our heroes were powerless to stop this terrifying chain of events. geoffrey turned to jimspam "now that is a bad jimspam, what did you do that for? how will we survive without the bailey to keep us company?" asked geoffrey.
 "well i've been thinking about that," said jimspam "and you don't really need hugh at all, do you... he is just holding you back isn't he? think how much more you two could accomplish if you took me around with you instead of that horrible little man."
 "but we have got used to hugh, it won't be the same if he is gone. you are a poor hugh substitute, green man. i know now why hugh hated you so much." said doug. on hearing this jimspam became enraged. he started throwing all sorts of pointy objects at doug, and even at his friend geoffrey. geoffrey ran over to jimspam's house and hit the self- destruct button, which geoffrey always put into everything he ever built. jimspam's house collapsed and jimspam fell back into his prior state of insanity. when the noise stopped the quarreling 3 were distracted by the sound of a bailey screaming. hugh had regained consciousness and was hurtling towards the sun. there was a final scream and then a kind of hiss type sound and hugh was gone. fallen into the burning ball of gas that is our sun. doug fell to his knees and pounded his fist on the ground. geoffrey did the duck equivalent- standing quite still with his mouth open. they turned to face jimspam who was dancing in a field of flowers he had planted. doug got up and pulled out his small green man catching device and put jimspam back in his jar. "i'm going to put you back where you belong, in the centre of the moon. and if you get out again i really will feed you to that monster, ok now, bye bye." said doug to the jimspam in a jar. doug and geoffrey began to make a hole to the centre of the moon. just then the nasa spaceship took off and headed back to earth.
 "aargh, now we is stuck here geoffrey!" said doug.
 "hmm, things are not going well today are they?" quacked geoffrey.
 "no they are not" replied doug. at that moment another ship whooshed overhead and went towards the sun. having nothing better to do for the moment our 2 remaining heroes went back to digging. after a few minutes the strange ship came back. it was the enterprise. two people beamed down, one standing in front of the other.
 "hello douglas, geoffrey."said the first figure, it was picard.
 "jean-luc! the most terrible thing has happened;" splattered geoffrey "hugh has been blasted into the sun by this little green man!"
 "yes i know, don't worry about it." said the wonderful bald man. then the figure standing behind him stepped forward.
 "hugh!" shouted doug and geoffrey together
 "but how?" asked doug "we saw you fall into the sun!"
 "muh, i guess i have superpowers" said hugh
 "no hugh, that is not it." said picard "did you happen to notice that the sun was not especially hot when you hit it?"
 "well it was a bit warm" said hugh
 "yes, but most people would expect the sun to be hotter than just 'a bit warm'." said picard
 "hmm, this is true," said geoffrey "please explain mr picard"
 "well us on the enterprise don't have much to do right now, and we admired your work on the moon" explained picard "so in order to keep us occupied we thought we would do the same thing with the sun, so that sun is made of papier-mache, just like the moon."
 "ah, impressive." said our heroes
 "but where is the real sun? and how does that sun create all that light? and the warmth, how does a 'warm' sun heat the earth?" asked the ever inquisitive geoffrey.
"the sun creates the light by some magic that data and i made, the earth is warmed by it's own warmth, everyone knows that, and as for the real sun, i shrunk it and put it in a glass case on the bridge and we use it to power the engines sometimes." said picard,
 "ok, that is nice" said hugh. hugh then noticed what they were doing to jimspam. "ah jimspam." said hugh and he began to move towards jimspam. picard saw that this may take awhile so he sat down and lit a cigarette.
 "wait hugh, he has gone insane again" said doug
 "ok then, lets take him home and feed him to the monster like we planned before. i don't know how he ended up in the middle of the moon anyway, what must we have been thinking??" said hugh
 "i think it was to give it weight" said geoffrey
 "shut up geoffrey!" shouted picard from his deckchair.
 "but how will we get home?" asked doug
 "just ask, man" shouted picard
 "picard, will you take us home?" asked hugh. picard thought for a minute..
 "ummmmmmm, no." said picard. he then ran off and the enterprise took off and flew away, picard's evil laugher echoing across the galaxy.
 "hmmm, how will we get home now?" asked doug.
 "now that i think about it, there will be another nasa mission here in a couple of days, just wait until then." said geoffrey.
 "oh, ok then." said doug our heroes sat around on the moon talking about how to make a good monkey soup and various other recipes until the next ship arrived. then they scarpered on it, with jimspam in tow.
 our heroes were all glad to be home and they placed jimspam above the fireplace. doug went with hugh while he made some pasta. geoffrey switched on the tv. "neighbours is on boys" shouted geoffrey, because it was.
 "that's nice" replied hugh sarcastically. just then there was a knock on the door. geoffrey went to answer it. he opened the door, but there was no one there, there was however a package with no markings on it.
 what was the package? how could hugh be making pasta when neighbours is on? how could hugh be making pasta when all their food was missing? why had picard turned mean? what had happened to their food?

40. where's my chickon
Geoffrey pried at the box for a will, pondering what could be in it. It could be a bomb or maybe there was something tasty inside though Geoffrey. The thought of something tasty over took Geoffrey. He quickly opened the box to see what was inside. On realising what was inside Geoffrey sat down in disappointment. The box was empty. Some one, it appeared, was playing a mean game on Geoffrey. Just then Geoffrey heard Doug laughing at him. It all clicked into place. Doug had been on the phone on their why back from Florida. He must have phoned someone to send and empty box to Geoffrey. Geoffrey thought this was a step too far by the Forrest monster. He decided to confront him. Geoffrey started to yell at Doug. Doug turned to Geoffrey and simple said, "wasn’t me." It appears that Doug was phoning for a pizza, as he knew Hugh could not cook pasta as all the food was missing and Doug was laughing because he had just put a bee in the jar with jimspam. So who had sent the box then. Doug decided it was best if he have a look at the box. Doug looked closely at the box and noticed some thing inside it. "It looked like a symbol," said Geoffrey. Doug tilled his head and then saw that it was writing and it read, "fuck off". Just then Doug and Geoffrey heard Hugh laughing. They turn to see him pointing and laughing at them. "Did you do this Hugh?" asked Doug. "No, did what" replied Hugh. "Send this box with nothing in it but a message telling us to fuck off" said Geoffrey. "No, why did you think that" stated Hugh. "Because you where pointing and laughing at us" said Doug. "No I was not. I was laughing at jimspam being stung by the bee and was coming to get you" said Hugh. "So who did send us this box then" asked Hugh. They all looked at each other in confusion. This was an odd event but they thought it best to ignore it for the time being. Now that Hugh had released there was no food to cook with they waited for the pizza that Doug had ordered earlier? When it finally got to them they sat around their table and ate it. "I am tired of always eating take away food, that’s find our old food," said Geoffrey. Doug and Hugh had nothing better to do so they agreed to go along. The best place to start would be to ring the police thought Doug. But then they realised it had been months since they had had their food stolen and the police would no longer care. "So where would you taken a load of food?" inquired Geoffrey. "To the park" replied Hugh. Since no one else had any better ideas that is where they would start their search. When they got there they saw the swans. They remembered what the swans had done to Quincy. They slowly started to leave the park. They did not want the swans to see them as they may be next in the swans’ deadly game of peck chase. Unfortunately their effort where in vain a big swan with one eye had seen them. He then called to the other swans and they all started over to the three some. "Quick scraper" yelled Doug. The three started to run away but four very large swans cut them off. They turned to run the other way but there were most swans and the odd goose. The swans surrounded them; they huddled together in fear. What ever would happen? What do the swans want? And what happen to their food?

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